“Dear Dreaded Backpacker”
An open letter from a Phnom Penh expat
Dear Dreaded Backpacker:
I have only been back in Phnom Penh less than a week and you have begun to wear even thinner than in days yore. Your latest has surely taken the cake.
When eating in the market it is probably first not wise to announce you would like to see the labels on MaMa instant noodle package to make sure it is “organic”, there is nothing “organic” about MaMa instant noodles that are about to be fried in glorious bacon fat. It is probably not wise to proclaimto the gap-year hottie next to you that you plan on “only eating locally source food” to get the “real” experience as well. MaMa Instant Noodles in the market are about as “real” as you can get.
Though I have to give you credit… Finally after getting the Khmer mama stare down, you did resign yourself to a plate of mee char and pate, only to declare, “I hope this is tofu?”. As you proceeded to cut your noodles into kindergarten sized nibbles, only to complain as you ate about the texture.
I hope against hope that; the stern Khmer mama over charged you for the three seats your “life on your back” took up and that you never abuse a noodle like that again, you are all about making the world a better place for fuck sake.
Start with becoming a pastafarian not a trustafarian!