On January 12th, 2013, my internet connection went down—after having enjoyed four months of very good, uninterrupted service.

The bill was  paid, so that wasn’t the problem, hmnn. I did the typical stuff, rebooted the ADSL modem, the wifi router and my computer but still had no joy. Scratched head.

Out on the balcony I discovered the problem. My phone line had been cut. Someone had gone down the street snipping all the wires criss-crossing it and I was living up two flights of stairs (40ft).

In true Khmer fashion, no utility companies were notified in advance, cable tv, phone companies etc. While the cable was restored in a respectable amount of time, the internet connection was a different story. Below is an account of my attempt to get it fixed.

Metfone-Office-PPInterior of a stifling hot, brightly lit Metfone office.

PC: Hello, someone has cut the internet line to my flat, when can you have someone reconnect it?

Metfone Rep: Yes, so King father Funeral can go.

(The revered King Norodom Sihanouk)

PC: Funeral not for another two weeks, when can you fix?

Metfone Rep: Sorry cannot.

PC: What? Cannot fix?

Metfone Rep: Maybe next month, 17th or 18th…

PC: What? that’s more than four weeks!

Metfone Rep: Yes, cannot until then.

PC: Well I not pay for no internet.

Metfone Rep: But you have unlimited internet.

PC: I have no internet!

Metfone Rep: Yes, you have unlimited internet.

 PC: I have no internet!

Metfone Rep:  No, you have unlimited internet.

 PC: If I go restaurant and order food and no get, I no pay. Same same for internet.

Metfone Rep: But you have unlimited internet.

 PC: No internet!

Metfone Rep: No, you have unlimited.

PC: Oh sweet suffering mother of Jaysus.

Fade to black.

In the end the company made up for it by doubling my speed and discounting my future monthly bills to US$16.